The Artist’s Way Program: Week 2, Recovering a Sense of Identity
This is a series of blog posts following my experiences doing Julia Cameron’s 12-week Artist’s Way program. If this series is new to you, feel free to read the original book review first.
Week 2 of The Artist’s Way program focuses on “recovering a sense of identity.” I very much related to Cameron’s insistence that the fear of being selfish often keeps us blocked. However, she mostly discusses people who are not doing what they want, because they don’t want to be selfish. I am a slightly slanted case. I am doing what I want, but I nevertheless battle the same fears that I am selfish for living my life this way.
In this chapter, Cameron urges that you surround yourself with the right people while you do this program. She warns that most of us know other people in our life who may be “blocked,” by which she means those who observe life from a cynic’s bench seat without taking any active creative risks themselves. “Blocked friends may find your recovery disturbing,” Cameron says, a warning that might be more familiar simply phrased as “misery loves company.” She urges protecting yourself from “well-meaning doubts” and “subtle sabotage.” This program is about exploration and shaking off those negative voices; the last thing you need is people teasing and mocking you for doing any kind of self-therapy.
I want to make mention of some of the exercises from this week. First, there was the life pie. You draw a circle with six wedges each labeled for a different aspect of life. Then put a dot in each wedge: closer to the edge the more fulfilled you feel, closer to the center the less. Then connect the dots. In a balanced life, you’ll have a nice, symmetrical shape, in a less balanced life you see what Cameron calls a “tarantula.” This exercise made me laugh. My shape was not at all a surprise, but a visual reinforcement of what I already know: elongated depictions of work and exercise with a rather dented in wedge for friends. I often convince myself that too many friends or social plans will only interrupt my productivity. My expectations also lined up with another assignment: where you list the five biggest draws on your time and actually track how many hours you spend on each one. Interesting actually writing it out, but I knew the gist.
I didn’t gain much from reading the Basic Principles every morning and night. I considered them a kind of saccharine gibberish, having only as much meaning as you infer into them. I suppose the same could be said of any quote, but I found these especially convoluted and meaningless. Two examples include: “There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all life—including ourselves.” and “We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.” On the other hand, I really enjoyed picking five of my own affirmations and writing them a full five times every day this week. Naturally, my affirmations are more tailored to me than Cameron’s Basic Principles. Plus it was interesting to see how writing them so many times really drilled them in far more than reading something nice once and promptly forgetting it. Repeating them made the affirmations more into mantras, and all the more powerful.
My attitude about the morning pages might be shifting. Last week I was adamant that I would not continue them after the program. Now I am at least open to the slim possibility that I might. (At the very least, I’m no longer dead set against it.) Last week’s pages were mostly obsessive stewing, which I am now blaming on an allergy medication that caused extreme agitation. Off that medication now, my pages are more random, disconnected thoughts. And I really do like the routine of waking up and doing the same thing every day, especially since it’s something that doesn’t require too much from me. I normally wake up at five am and immediately stumble to my writing desk and start writing. While initially I felt frustrated to have the “real work” put off for the approximate half hour my morning pages take me, this definitely is a much gentler way to ease into the day. At this point, I expect I will stop morning pages for a week after the program and just see if I miss them. I also loved my artist date again this week; I have absolutely no doubt that I will continue that weekly habit. They’re extremely rewarding.
The second week of the program definitely found me getting more “into it.” The assignments are striking me more and more as self-therapy and I’m gaining a lot from the reflection. Last week triggered my return to aerial silks after two years. This week, I started sketching again after, well, a lot more than two years! I still sometimes find Cameron’s prose a little cheesy, but I’m also understanding what in myself makes me view it that way and accepting that I have a lot to gain by giving this program my sincere effort.-->