The Artist’s Way Program: Week 8

The Artist’s Way Program: Week 8, Recovering a Sense of Strength

This is a series of blog posts following my experiences doing Julia Cameron’s 12-week Artist’s Way program. If this series is new to you, feel free to read the original book review first.

Week 8’s theme is “recovering a sense of strength” and focuses on time. We already discussed money and now time is the other big-ticket creative block. Cameron focuses more on age than on making time in our day. “It’s too late.” and “I’m too old.” are some of the most common excuses she hears for avoiding one’s passions.

While I didn’t entirely follow how it connects to the time theme, Cameron also has a long discussion of academia in this chapter. Academia doesn’t have to be but sadly often is an enemy of creativity. I entirely agree with Cameron that the reason this happens is because many academics are blocked creatives themselves. She discusses creative writing programs in particular. While they have a lot of potential for nurturing, many do fall into the stereotype of creatively unfulfilled professors cutting down their students as a way to vent their own frustrations. I majored in Creative Writing and found it more harmful than helpful towards improving my writing and actually pursuing publishing. Also, as a bit of the black sheep creative in a family and extended family consisting almost entirely of academics, I definitely experience an internal struggle of intellect and creativity. Prestige versus passion. Increasingly, I tell myself that these concepts can co-exist, but society certainly tries to tell us otherwise.

As for this week’s assignments, I really enjoyed returning to affirmations, especially now that I’m more open to them than the first time I tried them. I also enjoyed “early patternings,” another fill-in-the-blank exercise, this one focused on parental influence about art and creativity. Last, I appreciated listing twenty things I like doing and then “sorting” them, in a manner of speaking. Which are free and which cost money? Of the latter, are they cheap or expensive? Which are solitary activities and which with company? Are they job related? Is there physical risk?

Writing out my ideal day, while a nice idea, seemed counterproductive for me personally. Since I battle perfectionism, I avoid synonyms like “ideal,” too. Giving myself an ideal day sounds wonderful, but the minute my day doesn’t go exactly according to my carefully crafted plan, the day is ruined, no longer ideal anymore. This is the all-or-nothing thinking I’m working hard to disengage. So rather than planning some single perfect day, I think I would rather take elements of what I like and scatter them throughout my life. Balance, balance, balance!

I missed morning pages one day this week. First time that’s happened. My partner returned, bright and early, from a long trip and I was so excited to spend time with him that I entirely forgot about my pages. However, this week’s check-in asked if I’m tempted to abandon the pages and…not at all! I really like them now. I also started a file this week listing a plethora of artist date ideas. I like Cameron’s suggestion of doing two artist dates in one week as a special treat.

Part of why Cameron’s program reminds me so much of mindfulness is that she emphasizes moderation. We often decide we don’t have time for something when we think too big, but sometimes we can work it into our lives on a smaller scale, even possibly expand from there as we grow more familiar with it. Yes, there’s never enough time in the day, but more importantly it’s never too late.

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THE GLASS CASTLE

Review of THE GLASS CASTLE by JEANETTE WALLS

Several people recommended this book to me over the years, but they recommended it generally: it’s a good, popular book. When someone finally recommended it to me personally—it’s about a complex, dysfunctional childhood and you, Rachel, will relate—then I immediately made time for it. What a read. While I experienced my own dysfunctional childhood, Walls made me hyper aware that it could have been a lot worse. Ah, perspective.

However, I think I related to the complexity more than the dysfunction. I’ve read plenty of survivor stories detailing the writer’s specific trauma. Something Walls touches on that makes everything more poignant and real is that her childhood wasn’t all bad. Oh, there was plenty bad. But along with lighting her dress on fire and falling out a moving car, Walls also remembers the adventure, the creativity, and the knowledge.

The chapters are very short, a few pages each dedicated to specific memories that all piece together into a startlingly unique family portrait. I find myself both impressed and entirely unsurprised by Walls’ factual, detached tone regarding such personal subject matter; there is no doubt that detachment became a survival skill for her. By focusing on events over emotions, she leaves plenty of room for empathy, letting us imagine how we might feel if each memory happened to us. (See my opening paragraph about the wonders of perspective.)

I cannot imagine how Walls “summarizes” her family in conversation, if she does, beyond a vague, evasive “it’s complicated.” I like to imagine her handing this book to anyone who asks.

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CHARM

Review of CHARM by SARAH PINBOROUGH

(second in the TALES FROM THE KINGDOMS series)

Like any fairy tale retelling, this one comes alive with distinct, dynamic characters. Pinborough interweaves allusions to several well-known tales, but the primary storyline here is “Cinderella.”

All of the characters feel familiar, believable, and their own twist on more typical interpretations. Though shoved unfairly into a servitude role, this Cinderella is no Mary Sue saint. She’s vain and materialistic, and daydreams of the day when she has her believed due and can lord her power over those who once made her feel powerless. The stepmother, while indeed cruel, is clearly driven by bitterness. She married for love, but it cost her wealth and status and some days she doesn’t know if it was worth it. As for the stepsisters, one is already well married off while the other is kind, but – as Cinderella observes – not pretty enough for the marriage prospects her mother entertains for her.

This is a short book, at 187 pages, so no surprise I’m writing a short review. I find readers rather split on fairy tale retellings. Some have had enough of them, no matter how original, while others can never get enough. I fall into the latter category, but I do want every version I read to feel slightly different. CHARM stands out with complex and unexpected portrayals of familiar characters. I would happily gobble up dozens more of these satisfying twists.

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The Artist’s Way Program: Week 7

The Artist’s Way Program: Week 7, Recovering a Sense of Connection

This is a series of blog posts following my experiences doing Julia Cameron’s 12-week Artist’s Way program. If this series is new to you, feel free to read the original book review first.

Week 7’s theme of “recovering a sense of connection” is another title that seemed very arbitrary to me. However, what I related to most in this chapter are Cameron’s discussions of both perfectionism and jealousy.

Perfectionism is one of my biggest blocks, not just creatively. I’ve been aware of this for a long time, but it’s easier to label our flaws than to fix them. My unhealthy draw towards perfectionism is the reason I found myself interested in mindfulness in the first place; it seems like exactly the kind of self-reflection that could benefit me. I pretty much want to quote Cameron’s entire section on perfectionism because I related to it all so much, but instead I’ll pick out two favorites: “Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead.” and “Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough—that we should try again.” I read a psychology article a long while back that insisted people often have difficulty moving past their flaws when, on some level, they see those flaws as strengths. For me, this is definitely true. While I can logically, intellectually discuss how my perfectionism is harmful, deep down I think my conviction that I will never be good enough is what drives me so hard and I’m scared to let that go, scared accepting my present self means a decrease in output and/or quality.

Jealousy is also relatable to just about everyone. (If you can’t relate, I’m jealous of you.) I want to say jealousy is especially applicable in creative fields, but that might be an egocentric view; after all, jealousy is everywhere. I like Cameron’s quote: “jealousy is a map.” Figuring that out is what first drove me to writing. When I was seventeen, I read somewhere that you should listen closely to your jealousy, because it’s telling you what you want. I promptly realized I was more jealous of writers than any other human beings, and I wrote my first book within a year of that realization.

One of this week’s exercises also centers on jealousy: list people of whom you are jealous, then list why you are jealous of them, and last consider what actionable step you can take towards satisfying that jealousy. This will probably sound like bragging, but I am rarely jealous. I think my seventeen-year-old revelation showed me early on that this stigmatized emotion is actually a powerful key. I reroute any jealousy promptly into self-reflection on what I want and hard work towards it. Also I think jealousy is often a very misguided emotion. We look at others and see their reward but not the sacrifice. We want the good and not the bad. I believe everything in life is a trade-off and we each make trades that feel worthwhile to us.

This week also has you use the following phrase as a mantra: “treating myself like a precious object will make me strong.” I found that extremely valuable, because I don’t naturally agree with the statement. As Cameron discusses, I fall into the trap of believing I must be harsh with myself to achieve anything. She argues that nurturing is just as effective a motivator as guilt, with the added benefit of making you more happy than miserable! This week, and that mantra in particular, contributed to a significant shift in my mindset towards being kinder to myself.  

I entirely skipped two assignments this week: going to a sacred space and doing the collage. I couldn’t think of any “sacred space” I had any interest in going to within my own town. I might well be making too much of the word “sacred,” but if I downplay it then my answer is “home,” anyway. So I guess I went there! As for the collage, I’ve done them before, way too many times in my opinion, and I never once gained anything from them. Especially since I don’t read magazines and I have zero interest in buying several I don’t want for the specific purpose of doing a collage I didn’t want to do in the first place.  

I’m actually starting to enjoy my morning pages. Every week also features an “end-of-week check-in” with a few questions, the first always about these pages. I found this week’s check-in phrase of “codding your artist child with childhood love” inane, but I know that’s my cynical skeptic speaking. And, more seriously, yes, I am definitely being kinder to myself.

I noticed a distinct mind shift this week. Cameron mentions that, while most of her students gain something from the program, for the majority change comes so gradually as to be imperceptible at first. This week, I felt like I really noticed my own changes. I’m happier as well as more relaxed and content. I feel like I’m finding balance in my life by pursuing the things I want in manageable moderation.

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MURDER OF CROWS

Review of MURDER OF CROWS by ANNE BISHOP

(second in THE OTHERS series)

The fact that it has taken me so long to read this book is merely a testament to how many books I want to read, since this one has been high on my list since I read the first one way back in 2016. Be forewarned that this review contains spoilers for the first book, WRITTEN IN RED.

After blood prophet Meg’s former master attempted to reclaim her, everyone in their community is on edge. Not ideal when “everyone” includes werewolves, vampires, and plenty of scary beings without easy names. Someone is clearly trying to stir up tensions between humans and the Others and incite a greater conflict.

Typical for a Bishop novel, this book features a huge cast of intriguing characters. Yes, sometimes the names and relations become difficult to track (still a far cry from A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE levels), but Bishop knows how to place emphasis so I always remember what I need for following the plot. To make it all the more impressive, I read this second book years after the first without missing a beat.

After reading most of her works, Bishop’s stories start to feel formulaic. However, I absolutely mean that as a compliment; it’s her own formula and it’s one that works. While “formulaic” has a negative connotation, I’m happy to read as many books written to this formula as she’s willing to write. Many characters seem to have their doppelganger equivalents in her other works. A quiet and mistreated, but notably powerful heroine. A wide network of her friends and allies offering protection, emotional support, and comedic relief. A gruff love interest confused by his own romantic feelings. A psychopathic villain who sees others as tools not people. Bishop’s work always looks at both the worst and the best of human nature, skillfully coupled with the comforting mundane.

There’s something soothing about reading a favorite formulaic author. You know what to expect. You know you love it. While some books feel like “taking a chance,” I know I can settle down with an Anne Bishop book and a cup of tea, and I’m in for hours of cozy, rewarding reading.

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JESSICA PAGE MORRELL

Interview with JESSICA PAGE MORRELL

Jessica Page Morrell understands both sides of the editorial desk--as an editor and an author. She has written several books on the craft of writing, and she works as a developmental editor where she has learned how to quickly size up a story’s merits. Jessica lives in Portland, where she is surrounded by writers.

What are you reading right now?

I usually have several books in progress, also read a fair number of short stories and am currently reading Dorothy Allison’s collection TRASH. I believe short stories can teach us so much about crafting fiction. I call it fiction on a budget—sort of like film shorts. We can note which details the author homed in on, especially to establish the main story problem or situation, the protagonist’s key traits, voice, setting, and atmosphere. I also listen to The New Yorker podcast where short stories are read from the magazine. Really relaxing way to end the day before I nod off to sleep.

I’m also reading RIVER OF DOUBT: THEODORE ROOSEVELT’S DARKEST JOURNEY by Candice Millard. It’s about Roosevelt’s exploratory trip on a tributary of the Amazon after he lost his bid for the presidency as a third-party candidate. It’s a great story to read while there’s an international conversation about what true leadership means. I’m also re-reading Daniel Woodrell’s TOMATO RED because it’s freaking brilliant and Woodrell creates indelible characters and story worlds.    

What first sparked your interest in writing and editing?

I’ve been interested in writing since I was a kid, was an avid reader, and wrote poems and stories. In fifth grade our oddball teacher, Mr. Becker, tuned in an old radio in the back of the classroom to a public radio show for young writers. The woman’s voice was as old and creaky as a haunted house, and she’d assign weekly stories. One assignment was to create a story about a monster with a far-out name; and once I read about my shambling creature in front of the class and was met with approval, I was truly hooked. I took journalism classes in high school and edited a column in two local newspapers and created a literary magazine.

 I moved to Portland, Oregon in 1991 and landed an editing job with a local publisher in about 1996. The publisher was a former magazine journalist for major magazines and while working for him I learned a lot about copyediting and how to rewrite inaccurate and unformed writing. Gradually I was assigned fiction titles and learned how to work closely with authors to create a better story. Somewhere along the way they laid me off because of a company downturn and I started my own editing gig.

Before I worked as editor, I wrote a suspense novel and submitted it to an editor at a publishing house. The editor sent me a rejection letter that began “this is the hardest letter I’ve ever written” and explained why he was rejecting it. It was a blow, but I made up my mind to learn everything there was to learn about writing fiction. By this time I was also in love with teaching writers and passing on what I learned to other writers.   

What do you love the most about writing? The least? What about editing?

I love so much about writing, but maybe these days it’s how writing makes me feel doubly alive and gives me a means to indulge and explore my love of language. It’s also a repository of my general wonder at this planet and fellow humans. The least favorite would be the physical toll. Sitting a lot and typing a lot just causes eye strain, neck and back pain, and such. I’m not able to settle in and write for long swaths because I need to get up and stretch and move.

Editing is simply a satisfying endeavor. I love helping writers become better writers and good writers get published. My least favorite part of it is writing memos to writers to explain why their stories or techniques just aren’t working and why they need to rethink their approach. I jokingly call myself the Angel of Death, but the truth is, every time I return a manuscript to a writer I’m a little sick. 

Tell us a little about your writing process as well as your editing process.

I’ve been writing so long that I don’t have a lot of problems with starting or jumping back into a project. I also have a backlog of ideas and projects. I carry notebooks with me at all times where I jot down ideas and I’ve trained myself to be able to write anytime, anywhere. I used to be an early morning writer and believed those were the only hours I could write at my best level. I struggle with being distractible so I give myself little rewards along the way. I also have a document open on my laptop or computer most of the time that I call my Commonplace Book and I start a new one every season. It’s another place I jot down language, ideas, inspirations—usually snippets I find online while I’m researching or reading. And all this capturing of ideas and snippets is simply fun and reminds me to be observant, listening in at all times.

As for editing—with new clients I start the process by reading a sample and learning where the writer is at with his or her skill level and what his/her goals are. I work in Word’s Track Changes program and start with a read-through and quick edit. As I’m reading I open a document and start noting what’s working and the gaps and issues that are in the way. This will become a detailed memo—usually 10-25 single-spaced pages. After I’ve figured out the main problems, I delve back into the trouble spots—usually going through the entire manuscript twice and certain scenes three or four times, and really dig in with copyediting, revisions, and comments in the right-hand column of the document. It’s laborious and I like to mull over every story for about 3 weeks so that solutions can start taking shape as I work along. Some of these occur as I’m drifting off to sleep or going for a walk. This means I don’t take on a lot of full-length manuscripts in a year, but I also edit short stories and lately have been working on a kids’ book series. And I work on nonfiction from memoirs to business books. It’s a meaningful gig.

What are your passions?

Gardening, cooking, politics, hiking in the Pacific Northwest, taking in stories in all forms such as attending the theater, history, and art. And the Green Bay Packers—I grew up about 100 miles from Green Bay. Three years ago I bought a small fixer-upper with a long-neglected yard. I’m working at rehabilitating both. This year I grew more than a dozen tomato plants.  This means I’m busy harvesting tomatoes, giving some away, creating roasted sauces to freeze, and finding new ways to eat tomatoes at most meals. Last night it was roasted cherry tomatoes with scallops.  

About 15 years ago I started a picking garden because I need fresh flowers in my house and growing flowers, especially dahlias, brings me great joy. My secret wish is to be a flower farmer.  I began cooking when I was eight, was in the restaurant/food business, and became a food writer so I’m always inventing and trying new recipes. Currently I’m creating a cookbook for my oldest granddaughter of our favorite recipes. I spend too much time on Pinterest collecting recipes, rehabbing and garden ideas. HGTV and Brit gardening and cooking shows are my guilty pleasures.

I’d always planned on going back to college to study history and political science when I retired, but retirement might never happen. So I decided to start learning from home and have been taking Great Courses and listening to podcasts on topics that fascinate me. For the past year I’ve been studying the history of English and it’s been so enriching. I’m also studying how history, food, and culture intersect. A few years ago I was in Dublin and was blown away by the Viking display at the National Museum of History and have also been studying their fascinating history.

I’ve been interested in politics since I was a teenager, subscribe to a variety of newspapers and magazines, often have CSPAN and MSNBC on in the background when I’m puttering around, am part of the Resistance, and am volunteering to elect progressives in 2020.

What inspires you?

I find inspiration everywhere. Then there’s reading, of course. Poetry, especially reading poems first thing in the morning. Forests with old growth. Writers’ conferences.  Bookstores.  The endless Pacific. Perusing writer’s blogs and Twitter feeds. Farmer’s markets, gardens, film, hanging out with children, country drives and exploring Oregon, inventors, attending the theater and concerts, long deep conversations with old friends, wandering around new towns and cities, any activity that allows my mind to roam free. I’m also big on wandering around in neighborhoods and simply paying attention, wondering about the people who live there.   

Why write books about writing?

I started teaching writers in 1991 and over the next five years or so I’d run into students all over Portland. We’d meet in checkout lines or at music venues or farmer’s markets and we’d chat and these former students would enthuse about my classes and all he/she learned. Then I’d ask what seemed to me the obvious next question: So how’s your writing going? And most of them confessed that they weren’t writing. They’d stopped writing when the class ended.  It was borderline heartbreaking. It set me thinking and asking people about why they did not write even though they wanted to write. This led to my first book WRITING OUT THE STORM, which is one of those get-off-your-butt-and-freaking-just-write books. It addressed how most people who avoid writing are afraid to write and simple ways to sneak past those fears.

I wrote more books about writing because I saw gaps that needed filling. For example, I noticed that would-be fiction writers needed to focus more on the subtler aspects of the craft. I noticed the rise of the anti-hero across all storytelling platforms and it seemed few people were talking about it. And as much as I love teaching, I realized I could reach more writers by creating books instead of teaching live, even when I had the chance to address hundreds at a writing conference.

I also write about writing because I believe the world needs more stories. More shared realities. More truths from marginalized people and working-class people and people we’ll never get to meet except on a page. So that our shared humanity can make sense, can unite instead of divide us.  

Do you have genres that you prefer editing? Are they the same ones you prefer reading?

I try to read widely and keep up on publishing trends. I regularly read first chapters online because I don’t have as much time to read as I’d like. In the past 10 years or so I’ve become particularly interested in dystopian fiction because it’s so easy to envision as this country and the planet are teetering towards disaster with icebergs melting and oceans warming.

I’ve probably worked the most with suspense and thriller manuscripts and they’re a lot of fun because I like helping assemble and arrange the puzzle pieces and make sure that tension shivers and whispers beneath everything. I love the challenge of editing historical fiction because I have an ear for period dialogue and a nose for using accurate period details. Well, maybe not nose. But I’m a curious person and have always paid attention to the smallest details. I want the stories to transport readers into another time and place, a place that’s pulsating with authenticity and redolent with smells of the era, lit by candlelight or lamplight so that readers can sense the shadows and hush and backbreaking toil before household gadgets and technology, all without it becoming a dissertation. Same goes for world building in fantasy and science fiction. Horror is fun to edit, also a cool challenge, but man, it’s hard to get right.

Do you have advice for aspiring authors?

First, harden up. Writing is a meaningful but tough life.  Start out humble and stay humble. Learn structure. While not glamorous, the more you understand the underpinnings of storytelling, the easier it will be to write.

Keep it simple. Most beginning writers overwrite and add dollops and modifiers and digressions. Every word in every sentence needs a job to do. If not, fire it.  

If you hate marketing, don’t want to maintain a website, and somehow promote yourself on social media, then it might be best to back out now. These days writing requires reaching out.  I’ve met countless authors who complain about how they hate marketing—they’re usually the same ones who also complain about poor book sales. There are way too many people willing to Instagram and tweet and post on Facebook to take your place. There are way too many people with high social media profiles. Publishers want to publish them, because their followers are likely to buy their books. Sad as it might sound, you’re creating a product. As the creator of a product, you need to find people who want your product. This doesn’t diminish what you do; separate you from your passions and artist’s sensibility. Storytelling in all forms is an important contribution to the world. Having a social media presence doesn’t negate that.   

Listen. Stop defending your work, your plot, and your pantsing approach. Instead listen to writers and editors who are more experienced than you. Along that line, search out mentors. If you live in small town or remote place, find these writers online. Pay attention to how writers build their careers. If possible, hang out with other writers. No one else will understand you the way writers do. If possible, take part in a critique group or find a way to receive intelligent, unbiased feedback.

Expand your vocabulary. Word gathering and collecting adds up and pays off.  Create word lists. Fill notebooks. Keep a running list of potent verbs on your phone. Snatch up metaphors. Start now if you already haven’t made this a lifelong habit.

Go through your days looking for deeper meaning and truths.

Stay true to yourself.

The more you write the more you write. It’s a muscle thing—keep at it. If your writing practice is scant or shaky, make writing a priority. Be ruthless, laser-focused, and smart with your time.

And speaking of time—it’s the main commodity you’ll never have enough of. Or at least it will feel that way. Protect your writing time or schedule, like you’re protecting a babe from slavering wolves.

Is there anything else you’d like to tell us about yourself?

If I can write books, so can you. I’ve written books while recovering from a head injury, while juggling three jobs, while my back ached, and my heart was breaking. Life can go to hell or become seriously complicated in an instant—illness, accident, death in the family, colicky babies who won’t sleep. In the midst of chaos, try to keep notes about how you’re coping, feeling, grieving. Some of these potent, raw emotions can become your richest treasures. But capture them. And sometimes you’ll find that writing, despite or through hard circumstances, just might save you, hold you up.       

The Artist’s Way Program: Week 6

The Artist’s Way Program: Week 6, Recovering a Sense of Abundance

This is a series of blog posts following my experiences doing Julia Cameron’s 12-week Artist’s Way program. If this series is new to you, feel free to read the original book review first.

This week’s theme of “recovering a sense of abundance” really means “let’s talk money.” Most importantly, Cameron is not pushing some spend-everything-in-the-name-of-art-and-go-bust agenda, so those of you whose hackles lifted at “money” (mine did) can relax now. Instead she discusses how money can be one of the bigger practical concerns blocking creative impulses. Along the lines of avoiding an all-or-nothing mindset, Cameron pushes her readers to find that balance between exploring their creativity without being financially irresponsible to themselves or their loved ones. She understands that we all have different financial means, but she does ask you to consider whether there’s any reasonable wiggle room in your budget for even a small creative indulgence now and again.

I had fun with a lot of the assignments this week. “Money madness” is another fill-in-the-blank exercise, this one specifically exploring your own attitudes towards money. I also liked disposing of five ratty pieces of clothing. I strongly agree that clutter can be its own kind of creative block, and it’s another good mindfulness practice: periodically assessing what you actually need and want among your possessions and discarding everything else. I loved baking something, although in confession I do that most every week, anyway, since I’m teaching myself gluten-free baking. But this week is was an official assignment! And my morning pages have become a natural habit by now. They’re easy and even quite relaxing at times, though I do still struggle filling a whole three pages.

I didn’t much like the task of finding five pretty rocks and five pretty flowers. I did the assignment, but—um—just didn’t much see the point. There’s also a subtle philosophy difference here. I’m not wild about removing something from its place. Noticing pretty rocks and flowers is one thing, but I would rather observe them and then leave them where they belong than take them for myself. This week also had us rereading the Basic Principles every day again. I obliged Cameron, but I still find them sweet gibberish. Same with synchronicity. I haven’t written about it again, although Cameron brings up the concept every week, because my attitude hasn’t changed at all. Suffice it to say I never gained much from the whole synchronicity concept throughout the entire 12-week program.

Money is one of life’s biggest issues, from lots of angles. Biggest general stress. Biggest source of relationship tension. Biggest decisions. So it’s no surprise that it’s one of the biggest factors in blocking creativity. But the fact is that you don’t need to be rich to be creative. Money (and time) are major limiting factors and it’s disappointing to settle for a lesser version of what you “dream-want,” but there are ways to explore your interests that are reasonably within your means.

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